david lynch teaches typing with undulating bugs and moist clapping

david lynch teaches typing, the game, is a very fun, very annunciated, very free game, by rhino stew, kiddo. if you play the trial version, luke palmer’s writing, hyacinth nil’s programming, flwrz’s music, and jo wylie’s sprites will give you — the contender of this educational micro-epic — a little helping hand against those troublesome keys, and all the power they hold over you. 

all images courtesy of rhino stew

patient, appreciative, computerized, sometimes upside down — this lynch doesn’t care if you aren’t the fastest typer around. slow to anger, quick to reward: he’s programmed to condition those day-dreaming, unruly hands to do what they need to most in this world. type J and F at a job-qualified-speed. he knows the world expects too much; lynch doesn’t skip a beat if your pinky can’t find the ‘A’ key at first. need a cig break? he’s got your moist, dripping back, friend. his. slow. verbal. feedback. is. just. aces!

at your own pace, he’ll walk you through all the steps — hand positioning, speed assessments, undulating bugs, pinky-exercises — everything you need so you can become that typing wizard you oh so desperately need to become in order to stay on top in 2018, and not let your dreams go falling forever down a moldy drain of incompetence. when you’re finished with the trial, just keep clapping — even if those hands turn to raisins — just keep clapping, kiddo. hopefully, rhino stew will send someone to assist you. or (if you haven’t seen enough david lynch to get the imagery and comedic timing that rhino stew is playing with here) try rabbits, on youtube.

project info:

writing: luke palmer

programming: hyacinth nil

concept and design: luke palmer hyacinth nil

music: flwrz / kreng / NC SA free music archive

sprites: jo wylie

UI art: darkartsofneko

a rhino stew production