jocelyn allen defies anxiety with photographic art

jocelyn allen is a young british photographer who documents her personal struggles with anxiety through intimate series of photographs. ever since her college years, she never truly felt comfortable with self-portraits but after a while she realized that photographing herself was a therapeutic process. it helped her cope with the mental illness.

‘anxiety is something that threads most of my work together, whilst other themes that I generally explore are self-esteem, representation and identity. hiding and revealing is also something that occurs within my work’ explains the photographer. 

‘i didn’t feel safe anywhere’. (5th January 2016)

jocelyn allen’s most recent work, neblina, is a testimony to her on-going challenge of facing her fear of the outside world. ever since she moved to london in 2010, she mainly took self-portraits in her room. but she finally decided to confront her darkest worries and photograph herself outdoors. during the shoots, she kept a diary with her and used her notes for the captions underneath images. 

‘photographing myself outside is a different story… i am scared. scared of what people might think I am doing. scared what they might say. scared of what they might do… but yesterday i realised that i just needed to get outside.’ – 1st October 2015.

‘ i thought about not coming to the garden but I feel too safe here. well, not too safe’. (3rd November 2015)

doodling is also something that helps jocelyn cope with her anxiety, and she caught herself drawing in her diary while shooting outdoors. therefore, she decided to combine her sketches with the images by digitally tracing over them; it seemed like the natural way to channel her anxiety. in the end, she realized that the extra amount of work quieted her concerns and reassured her that she was being productive.

‘i think it will rain soon. she must’ve gone another way as I can’t see her’.  (13th January 2016)

‘a cyclist was looking at me, so I stretched’. (6th October 2015)

‘i hope she didn’t film me\take pictures of me’. (13th October 2015)

‘a few people have been walking past but it’s usually when i’m looking through my viewfinder’. (12th January 2016)

‘try not to get stressed out so fast’. (26th December 2015)

‘i’m feeling a bit weird’. (5th December 2015)

‘i feel very meh’. (23rd December 2015)

‘i stopped a few times waiting for people to go past’. (5th December 2015)

‘if someone asks me what I am doing i’d like to ask to photograph them’. (8th December 2015)

designboom has received this project from our ‘DIY submissions‘ feature, where we welcome our readers to submit their own work for publication. see more project submissions from our readers here.

edited by: lea zeitoun | designboom